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Saying Good-bye
Saying good-bye can be a stressful time for both you and your student. Learn strategies to make the most of the weeks and days leading up to your student's departure and gain tips to think strategically about what to say and when.
The Lazy Days of Summer: When Your Child Seems to Lack Motivation
Learn 14 strategies to parent your child through bouts of lack of motivation and recognize where and when your child seems most engaged and energized.
July 2010
The Business of Family Meetings
More and more families are finding it both productive and necessary to bring family members together to talk about family issues. Gone are the days of when the family meeting meant that bad news was on the way. Learn what's working for parents as they shape family meetings that their pre-college and college-aged children actually enjoy. June 2010
Home for the Summer
When our children come home for the summer, even a portion of it, they are teetering between patterns of childhood and the reasonably emerging adult that they have become while living away from home. For many families there are adjustments that need to occur and expectations that need to be established or clarified. This article identifies some of the common areas of conflict that families experience when their student re-enters the family system, and offers suggestions in how to create and discuss expectations, while also considering priveleges and consequences. May 2010
A Sense About Cents
In a society where very little money passes from hand-to-hand, our children are faced with many opportunities to overspend while away at college. The temptations range from expensive off-campus meals to on-line gambling and shopping. As parents, we cannot afford to underestimate the need to provide our children with a financial education. Even colleges and universities have recognized this need, and are offering personal financial management and budgeting classes to students in the first year or so of attending college. This article provides you with ideas about how to assess what your son or daughter may already know and offers ideas about anticipating and creating teachable moments to strengthen you child's personal financial awareness. April 2010
The Next Adventure
Whether your child seeks to travel abroad for the first time or is a seasoned traveler, it is rare for parents not to have questions and concerns. More than ever, parents seek to determine the value of their student's opportunity to go abroad and they want assurances about health, safety, and program costs. Many parents share that just when they get comfortable with their student being away at college, their student is approaching them about going abroad. It is this new adventure that often requires parents to yet again evaluate the role they seek to have in parenting their student through the choices and decisions associated with participating in a learning experience in another country. This article is about parenting your student as he or she explores opportunities to study or travel abroad. Learn about The Next Adventure, from co-contributor Sue Atkins, International Education Consultant. March 2010
Long Distance Love - Expressing Love and Support to your Student
There are volumes written about how to maintain a long distance relationship, as in the romantic kind, but very little has been written about maintaining and expressing parental love and support when a child goes away to college. Perhaps the experts think we will just figure it out, and of course for the most part we do, yet in my parent coaching work I encounter parents who feel a strong sense of loss and sadness when they cannot convey what was once so easy for them through a caring hug or daily acts of kindness. Students also share, "we still want you to tell us you love us even though we are on our own." Join me and co-contributor Jane Stachowiak, Director of Student Wellness & Health Promotion at Berklee College of Music, as we consider ways to expand expressions of long distance parental love and support in this month's article. February 2010
Parenting "the Right Way"
We all experience those moments, especially when going through a challenging time, where we wonder how our parenting measures up. My clients frequently ask me if they are parenting "the right way", and I often respond by saying, "there are many right ways." This article identifies some of the characteristics and behaviors that are common to parents who generally feel positive about their parenting skills and effort, and invites you to take time to think about your parenting patterns and habits. January 2010
The Stress Factor
As the semester or marking period progresses we can see the stress level rise in our children. It is during these weeks that we often feel a heightened concern for our students and experience our own sense of stress. In this article you will gain strategies for supporting your student through end-of-semester stress and for helping your student manage the stress that he or she experiences as a normal accompaniment to campus life. December 2009
Wanted: Crystal Ball - Fielding Questions About Your Student's Future
There are often high expectations for pre-college and college students to have a clear vision of their academic and career path, and the well-meaning questions of curious relatives at a holiday gathering can seem like an interrogation for a student who isn't prepared. Kay illustrates the benefit gained by our sons and daughters when they have the time necessary to make their best academic and career choices, gives five strategies to support them in doing so, and provides ten ways to equip them to respond when they hear a barrage of questions coming their way for which they haven't yet arrived at answers. November 2009
Kay explores the difficulties in getting an accurate measure of how your pre-college or college student is doing socially and academically when he or she is away from home. Includes a checklist of positive behaviors that may serve as indicators of success, open-ended questions that encourage your child to open-up, tell-tale signs of serious problems, and ways you can parent supportively while your student gains greater confidence in decision making. October 2009
Kay outlines the stressors encountered when children return to their schools and colleges after summer vacation, and invites you to assess your parenting attitudes and behaviors in this time of newness and uncertainty. Appreciate the developmental opportunities for your pre-college or college student as they successfully transition from the unknown, and continue to discover who they are. September 2009
Transitions are central to every family system, and for pre-college and college students the most common transitions often present great opportunities for growth in the areas of personal responsibility, academic development and relationships with others. Kay presents eleven tips and strategies for successful parenting during times of transition. August 2009
Your personal stories provide opportunities to transmit lessons and connect with your children via your emotions, choices and actions. For your pre-college or college student, stories provide evidence and support to the life lessons that you desire to share, engaging them in the details of how you solved a particular problem, overcame a challenge, dealt with an emotional hardship, or dove into an unknown experience. Kay offers ten tips for incorporating those stories into your successful parenting approach. July 2009
Evaluating your pre-college or college student’s learning by simply looking at the letter grade on a transcript is a trap that may leave you misinformed. Kay provides advice for delving deeper into the effort that went into getting that grade, which provides a more revealing and rewarding understanding of your child’s performance. June 2009
Kay recounts an experience with her step-son to illustrate how the summer break provides opportunities for a pre-college or college student to develop concrete skills, knowledge and different perspectives. Included is a list of ten skills that contribute to student success at college that you can use to inventory what you might want to strengthen in your child before he or she returns to class. May 2009
A pre-college or college student who becomes a more confident decision maker becomes more involved and invested in the outcomes of his or her educational experience. Use the 11-step process Kay outlines in this month’s article to support your child in practicing and sharpening his or her decision making. April 2009
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Kay Kimball Gruder
